IfDogsCouldBlog...

Are you Surprised? Pt. 2

ifdogscouldblog — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 14:43:18 +0000

For some reason, the garbage doesn’t get put on the ground anymore.

-Sketcher

I’m on a boat!

ifdogscouldblog — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 13:51:58 +0000

I’m on a boat…and I am tired! All these waves rocking us back and worth. We don’t have to legs to party on a boat.

-Sketcher and Tucker

Are you surprised?

ifdogscouldblog — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 15:35:11 +0000

Look, I don’t like it when my masters leave, this is how I show them. Now where’s that Dislike button on Facebook?

I’m pooped!

ifdogscouldblog — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 04:41:41 +0000

After a long day of chasing chickens and protecting the house from people walking in front of it, I’m ready for bed!

-Tucker

How long did I sleep for?

ifdogscouldblog — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 14:07:17 +0000

Saturday was a fantastic day, the sun was out, there were birds everywhere that I could chase after. Just a beautiful Spring day. That night I snuggled into bed after fighting with my brother(as usual) and woke up to this white cold stuff I’ve been told is called snow. It was up to my belly! Where were the birds? I literally had to hop outside, you couldn’t walk through this stuff it was so thick.

Now I’ve dealt with snow before, but I thought it was over. Maybe I slept from April all the way until December. Is this what hibernation is like? I am hungry, so those dots connect.

Sincerely,

Confused(Tucker)

All the fun stuff is taken away

ifdogscouldblog — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 02:25:57 +0000

Lately, we’ve been digging through the garbage. You won’t believe what these people throw away! Food scraps galore! French fries, hamburger, moldy bread! It’s delicious! Now, the garbage is put up on the counter. What’s the point of that?

-Sketcher

Is it necessary?

ifdogscouldblog — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 16:34:51 +0000

Hi, my name is Sketcher and I’m a barkoholic. There, I said it, now can you take this stupid thing off! My female master decided it would be a good idea to put this extra collar on me. At first I thought it was a little bling…but then…I barked. $O#*^@#%@$&(($(@_@ it sprayed me!!! I get pissed, so I bark at the collar and it sprays me again! Now I’m scared…I start to tremble, maybe even pee a little, but I’m getting used to it. Fortunately I know when it’s on me and when it’s off, so I don’t have to stop barking when it’s not on.

But is this the right answer? Isn’t there a 12-step program I can go through instead? And I’m only a social barker so it’s not like it’s really a problem, I can quit whenever I want to.

-Sketcher

We were bored

ifdogscouldblog — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 19:44:36 +0000

When dogs get bored, we destroy. Our female master decided it be smart to buy this cushioned mat to put in front of the sink. It looked nice, sure, but we were bored. So we did what we know best and shredded it. I kinda feel sorry, but not really because it’s one less thing I have to chew on when bored.

-Tucker

How do you people walk?

ifdogscouldblog — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 21:53:45 +0000

Recently our masters have been subjecting us to mild torture. We’ve been cooped up in the house because there has been snow on the ground. However, the weather is quite nice recently so we’ve been going on more “walks” lately. “Hikes” is more like it.
It always starts out fun and we get really excited. Towards the end of the walk we get so exhausted and literally collapse into a mini coma for a few hours. I mean do they really expect us to walk a whole MILE?!? We used to go on longer walks, but we were younger last summer, times have changed. If you see me barking while out walking, it’s a cry for help!

-Sketcher

New Year…new reason to sleep in.

ifdogscouldblog — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 17:11:52 +0000

Well, it’s a new year and I’m looking for reasons to sleep in. It’s cold outside is usually my most common excuse. Despite what my master’s think, I can “hold it in”, I just usually choose to pee on the floor because it’s convenient.
Previously, I would be up and licking faces as soon as the first alarm went off, but now I find myself fighting off the morning, hoping to sleep in just a little bit longer. Maybe I’m getting old, maybe I’m taking after my master’s habits.

-Sketcher